Singing in the Attwood home

Abby has formed the habit of asking for a song before bedtime/naptime/dinnertime/bathtime/anytime! :) I ask her "what song?" And without a doubt she will always say "ariel." So I begin... "look at this stuff, isn't it neat, don't you think my collection's complete..." I must admit that there are times when I sing this to her at the top of my lungs...something I would NEVER do in front of anyone else! She loves it and so I'll keep signing it. Another song that's on our list....

I am a C
I am a C-H
I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-AN
And I have C-H-R-I-S-T
In my H-E-A-R-T
and I will L-I-V-E

This song cracks Abby up! She laughs every time I sing it and stares at me in amazement of my spelling capabilities!


Rainy Friday Afternoon

Well, it's Friday and Memorial Weekend and it's raining like crazy! It's been raining today for over 8 hours! Strange, huh? I love the rain! I am sitting here next to the window and the sound of rain is so lovely (and unusual) for this time of year.

This week has been long! I think it's felt so long because Logan's crying all the time. I think he's teething...let the fun begin! I am on the cusp of teething and sleep training!! The not so fun parts of the first year. Although my frustration mellowed a little once I finally concluded that he must be teething. It's easier to deal with a screaming baby when you know that he's in pain and just wants to be held and comforted. That is not the hard part. The hard part is throwing the 2 year old in the mix. It seems like whenever I try and just hold Logan Abby either becomes really naughty or needs me for something. I think it is the daily balancing act that has me tired out. Anyhow, here's some clips of the week. :)

Abby "helping" papa fix sprinklers. I think I'll go to Home Depot and buy some pipes and sprinkler parts...it's the most fun she had all week!

John grading his papers...Logan was helping.

Good Morning babies! Too cute...Abby taking care of Logan.


A day at the park

Abby becomes fearless near water! She was running through and screaming with glee!

Abby and Jared are quite the little buddies. They held hands as they made their way to the fountian. Too cute


Summertime is on its way

It was a hot weekend...triple digits everyday! I'm not sure that I'm ready for summer, but I do not think that I have a choice. :) I went to Target and bought Abby a little pool, I hope to get it blown up tomorrow so that we can have some water fun!

Abby: Has become such a little girl. Her legs are constantly bruised and scrapped because she's always running these days--and falling a lot. She loves being outside. She is very talkative and loving. She kisses on all of us all day long. She is very into saying "silly goose" (which she picked up from me) so I hear that phrase a few times an hours.
Logan: He's sitting in his Bumbo chair now...see picture. Isn't he so darn cute! This weekend he rolled onto his side. I'm sure he'll figure out how to roll completely over within a few weeks. He's at that frustrated stage where he wants to do more than his little body allows him.

John: He's grading papers...again! :) Boy, how nice it will be if he doesn't teach next year and doesn't have to always be grading!

Me: John finally allowed me to mow the lawn today---I love mowing laws. It was a fabulous work out! I busted two sprinklers...opps! Dad's coming over tomorrow after work to teach me how to fix them. :)

House situation--I'm getting frustrated! This is taking forever! I will continue to pray that we will receive an answer this week. I want to move on with our lives. I will continue to repeat my verse (Hew 11:1) and cling to the truths of God's word.


I admit defeat

Abby has defeated me today. She is so emotional (I have no idea who she got that from) and it is very tiring! This morning I went to the post office to mail Weston's box. I've been putting it off because I just knew it would be an ordeal. So, I pull up to the post office and it takes me about 10 minutes to get out the stroller, load Logan, load Abby, get purse, lock car, get box. Then I walk to the front door of the post office...this is the first part of this journey that I am dreading. It is not easy to kick open a door, push in the 10 foot long stroller, and balance a box on your head. It is very ungraceful, and this is where my humbling began. I'm clearly struggling to just physically enter the post office and there are about six women in line...none of them offered to help, none held the door, nothing. They just stood there inches from me and watched me struggle. Then the minute I finally get into line Abby starts up…kicking and yelling. What makes her do this? Does she sense that I’m already flustered and thinks to herself, “hmmm, how much more can my mom take?” So, I say, “Abby do you want to get out of the stroller?” Of course she does…I mean let’s throw another shrimp on the barbie! Let’s see if mom can maneuver the 60 pound stroller with one hand, balance the box on her head, hold her keys and wallet, hold the 30 pound writhing toddler, and clearly communicate that this box needs to go to Mongolia. “Yes, I said Mongolia!” (do they think I’m confused and that I made a mistake and the box just needs to go two cities over…no woman, I said MONGOLIA!” So, there I am in full sweat! I pull my large load to the counter and she tells me that I need step aside from her counter to complete a customs form. Is she kidding! Does she not see my struggle?? The custom form takes less than 30 seconds to complete, please lady…I’ll give you $1,000 dollars, please don’t make me leave your counter!! So, I push the stroller to the side and hold my now screaming, flailing two year old and grab a stupid customs form. She says to me “you can’t keep your stroller there…you need to move somewhere else.” Is she kidding me??? I purposefully went to a tiny post office hoping that there wouldn’t be a line. Now, I am literally in the middle of the 20x20 room with all six women still looking (very judgingly) at me. Still not one person has said, “it is okay honey, I’ve been there and you’re doing fine.” Nope, I’m being looked at as the bad mommy who can’t control her kids. Lovely. I step aside and complete the form and finally get the box shipped. I’m trying to pack up…and I guess just to add insult to inquiry the postal worker lady says…”well, I guess that little girl doesn’t know who’s boss” as I was walking away. I was defeated. I felt like a horrible mother. I knew the entire time I was in there that I was being judged by each pair of eyes. I put Abby in the car and got very close to her face and said, “That is unacceptable. That is naughty. You do not kick, scream, cry, etc!!” She looked at me and said “look mama, big truck!” Yep, there was a trash truck driving by at the same time as my life lesson was taking place. The trash truck won. I got in the car and called Jacqui—I started crying and we talked about the crappiness of toddlerhood. Then I went through Del Taco and got myself a big Root Beer…I felt that I had deserved it.


rollie-pollies and belly laughs

Abby and Logan took their first bath together...as you can see from the picture, I'm sure it was not relaxing for Logan. :) Abby saw his little "man part" and got the funniest look on her face. She said "oohh...yucky!" Then I asked her what it was and she said a "yucky bug!"

I stayed home today--for the first time this week. It was nice to just be home and not lugging the kids around. I took the kids on a walk this morning. At first we started with Logan in the bjorn and Abby on her bike. We only made it four houses down before Abby wanted to "walk please." So we came home and put her bike in the garage. Then we headed out on foot. We only made it two houses down because Abby is very into bugs and we had to stop at investigate each creature she saw. I must say, there are hundreds of rollie pollies on the ground! Something adults wouldn't notice...but take a two year old on a walk, and volia! there they are...just rolling-pollin' all over the place! :) We also saw some worms and Abby would yell "snake!!" I told her that they were worms, but she insisted that they were snakes...so I let her believe that they were. After some time on foot, Abby wanted to be in the stroller--so we went back to the garage and put her in the stroller...this time we made some good distance, so I can actually say I exercised today. :)

Weather--surprisingly cold--I'd say 60-ish.

Abby--she's like her mama....she was barefoot in the backyard yesterday and each time she saw a bug she would curl her toes and walk on the sides of her feet! That's exactly how mama does it! Good girl. yucky bugs!

Logan--happy. not much crying unless he's hungry or not being held! :) He loves sucking on his hands...he gets pretty intense about it and it's quite loud and quite cute! I also got him to belly laugh a few days ago. It's the cutest sound!!

Me--I received my Moby wrap today. I'm pretty excited to try and use it. It's a baby wrap...allows you to hold your baby hands free. Can you say--get some cleaning done while hanging out with Logan! :)

John--watching the Lakers. Or Dodgers. Or football. :) And playing with the kids...in fact, he's starting Abby's bath right now.

Current Attwood household activities--my typing, Logan bouncing in his chair, Abby cracking up because John's kicking her Cinderella ball around the house...he kicks it really hard and sometimes at her head, but she LOVES it. :)


I love cooing

Logan cooing for Mommy and Abby. Ain't he cute. :)


Guilt and Blah!!

I'm feeling so blah tonight. My heart is heavy--I feel anxious--I feel restless. I hate feeling like this. I know why I'm feeling this way. It started with a phone call from Countrywide. They called to see if we can make a payment and to remind us that our mortgage was four months overdue. Do they think we don't know that already!! Do they think we've been jet setting around the world, and maybe just forgot to send in the check! Then she tells me that our account will be assigned to a short-sale person on May 8th. She said that it can take up to two or three months from that date to get things done. And that's if (yes, if) the investor of our loan agrees to the offers. I don't know...it's not like I didn't know this prior to this phone call, but it just bummed me out. I'm not even sure why? I am just SOOO tired of all of this. This all began in November...that makes this the 7th month in the whole process. I'm just so so so so tired of thinking about this and trying to figure it out. I'm even tired of praying about it. I mean if the investors of the loan do not approve the offers we are right back where we started!!!! That's what scares me the most.

Then these feeling are compiled with my always present guilt. I don't know if it's just me, or all moms experience this...but I am always feeling guilty. For example:
  • I am feeling guilty that I didn't make something more nutritious for dinner for Abby.
  • Logan smiles and laughs every time I take a moment to talk to him...I feel guilty that I do not take more time to talk to him.
  • I feel guilty that I yelled at Abby to "WALK UP THE STAIRS!!" (she'll sit and each stair for like 30 seconds...and by stair #15 I'm beyond irritated!)
  • I feel guilty for not having the house more clean
  • for not having John's clothes ironed
  • or not shipping Weston's present yet (I know you don't mind Becca)
  • for not playing more with Abby
  • for making Logan sit in his bouncy while I type this
  • for not putting any work hours in today--which makes it impossible for me to catch up so then I feel guilty for getting paid
  • for not running on the treadmill
  • for not reading my bible

Perhaps guilty is the wrong word...maybe it's failure. I always feel like my head is just about to go under water. I feel like I'm failing. I feel like I cannot give 100% in all areas of my life. wheww...it's exhausting just typing all of my failures! :) I don't mean to be a downer...but it's nice to write out everything and get it off my mind.