The last 8 hours....

12:30am just getting into my lovely good deep sleep
crying baby
crying little girl
screaming baby
screaming little girl
I sleepily walk to each child's room

Logan is wailing
He is covered in pee
yet his diaper is dry
a mystery for sure!

Abby is yelling
Logan has awaken her
"go back to sleep" i say
"but my clothes are wet" she says
more pee
again a mystery
to much pee to just change the sheets
Little girl joins daddy in our bed
(a soundly sleeping, snoring daddy! sheesh!)

Logan is still screaming
like he will perish if I don't return
I get a bottle
go in
until little boy eyelids look heavy

Return to my elusive bed
Push the 3 year old over to the middle
I secure about 7 inches of bed for myself
It's nearly 1:30am
good night

a thrashing 3 year old in bed with me
thrashing all night
perhaps she has some type of disorder?
A kick and spin all night in her sleep type of disorder?

Mommy is awake
Daddy is snoring

I forgot to close the verticals
the room is very bright with morning sun
which wakes up the little girl
she jumps on my back
she wants chocolate milk

drag my feet to the ground
bouncing 3 year old is already hyper for the day
I hear the little boy
he is awake
I drag my feet into his room

there is my child
my beautiful bouncing baby boy
with his hands covered in poop
poop all over his sheets
and big proud smile on his face

my three year old is behind me
she is yelling for her chocolate milk
poop and chocolate milk
Happy Saturday


Delightful Dirt

One of God's greatest gifts to mothers is DIRT.

+ Mud
entertainment for hours!

If my children are covered from head to toe in dirt, I consider it a successful day.

Sleepy Math

Logan went to bed at 8pm last night
Abby went to bed at midnight
Logan woke up at 5:30am
Abby is still sleeping and it is 8:10

Final tally:

Logan: 8.5 hours of restful sleep
Abby: 8 hours and counting
Mommy: 5 hours and a pot of coffee brewing


Sleeping like a pony

Abigail sleeps like this every night.
She needs all of her pony dolls: Cherrilee, Sweetie Bell, Star Song, and Rafity.
She also needs Bolt.
She also thinks that she needs all 19 of her smaller pony dolls, and each pony's accessories...but I draw the line there.

Sweet Dreams my little pony girl.



John and I went on our first overnight get-a-way since we've had children. It was a lot of fun to be away for a night. It is so easy to travel without children. No double strollers, no diaper bags, no diaper changes. Refreshing!

Another treat? We went with our best friends. We had a great time in San Diego.
Sun. Walking. Margaritas. Games. Crazy people. People watching. Laughing. Talking. More walking. SLEEPING IN!!!


Jesus & Xrays

Tonight Abigail was sitting on the couch and she looked up at John and said, "daddy, I didn't see Jesus in my heart when the penny was in my tummy." It took me a moment to understand what she was trying to communicate, but then it hit me...and it's one of the sweetest things that she has ever said.

As you may recall, Abigail ate a penny a few weeks ago. She had to go to the doctor and get x-rays of her tummy to ensure that the penny was on its way out. She was very intrigued with the "pictures" of her tummy (x-rays). Abby has also been very curious about Jesus. She always asks me what Jesus looks like, why we can't see him, and how does he live in her heart. She wants to know what color his hair is, how tall he is, and why she cannot see him. I love that she's thinking about these things, and it is incredible that at 3 years of age these questions are already present.

Back to Abby's question; she wanted us to explain to her why she could not see Jesus in the x-ray. If he was in her heart, why couldn't she see him in the picture.

Smart, huh?

I explained that Jesus is everywhere and he is as big as the sky, and even though we cannot see him he is always with us. I told her that we can pray to God that He would allow Abby to see Jesus. I mean, why not? He is as big as the sky, and I'm sure he's willing to revel himself to the heart of a curious and precious three year old.

Horsey Hair

This morning I had a meeting at work. THe kids join me down at the office and they have a nice girl who plays with them while I go to the meeting. Anyhow, I'm just about ready to grab my keys and head to the car when I hear:

"I am a pony. I have pretty hair. I don't want tangles in my hair, so I put lots of lotion on my head."

When you are a mother there are certain things that will grab your attention. An example, "...so I put lots of lotion on my head."

So, I peek around the corner and find my little pony girl in the middle of the living room with a bottle of shampoo. She is lathering up her head.


I have to be at a meeting in like 7 minutes, and here's Abby caring for her horsey hair.

Needless to say, we were late to the meeting, Abby was very angry that I had to wash out all of her "pony lotion" and we arrived at the office with a stressed out mother and an angry 3 year old.

On the drive home from the meeting Abby was telling me how important it is to keep her pony hair tangle free.

I completely agreed.


Sleepy Boy

Logan fell asleep at the dinner table tonight. We had a good laugh.


Bible story

Today as Abigail and I were driving home from church I asked her, "what did you learn in your class this morning?"

She answered, "I learned about kids who do not have thumbs or ears."

OH MAN! I had to try sooo hard not to laugh! What in the world was this kid talking about?!

I asked, "why did they not have thumbs and ears?"

She said, "because they had white spots all over them. It was scary."

I asked, "was Jesus in the story?"

She said, "yeah, and he fell down on the ground laughing."

Luckily Abby's teacher told me that they learned about leprosy. Apparently all of the kids put white stickers all over their hands, the stickers were supposed to represent leprosy. The teacher told me that Abby had a total melt down and had to have her stickers removed immediately.

I asked Abby, "did you have stickers on you?"

She said, "yes, it was scary."

I said, "why?"

She said, "it's called leprosy."
I think Abby thought that she was actually going to get leprosy and possibly lose her thumbs and ears in church.

I think the Jesus laughing part was when the man with leprosy was healed he was so happy...which must mean laughing in Abby's mind.

This has become one of my favorite parts about Sunday mornings...listening to Abby tell us about a bible story in her own little 3 year old way.


Hair gone wrong

Two nights ago I decided that it was time to dye my hair. I usually do it myself and have never had any problems. So, I dyed my hair, took a shower and went to bed.

The next morning I was lying in bed with my kids watching cartoons, John walked by did a double-take and said, "wow, your hair is really dark." I said, "yeah, I colored it last night." He left for work.

A few moments later, I got up to take a shower and get ready for my work meeting. I walked by the mirror, glanced over, and stood there...frozen in horror.

My hair was jet black!

Oh my gosh!!!!

How did this happen? My hair was like blueish black....you know, so black that it has hues of blue in it!


I don't want to be vain, but I nearly started to cry.

I proceeded with my morning....got everyone ready to go to the office for my meeting. Being the savvy professional that I am, I began my meeting with crying. About my black hair. Like an idiot.

Luckily my coworkers are very cool, and even tried to convince me that "it's not so bad."

What caring liars I work with.

After my meeting, I went to the salon....and paid $70 to get my hair fixed. Do you know what is worse than the $70? Doing a walk of shame into a hair salon. There is something very intimidating about trendy, tattooed, stylish hair designers gathered around you assessing your what-the-heck-did-you-do-your-hair-looks-awful hair.

I'm happy to report that I'm now a nice shade of brown. It actually looks really pretty. Thank you intimidating hair ladies.



Abby has a very active imagination. I just tucked her into bed, and as I was leaving the room she told me that she was going to fly up the rainbow with her four pony babies, and they would land into a waterfall. Then the dinosaurs would come and play and she would play a piccolo.

I mean, a piccolo?! Where did she even learn about that instrument?


Please go to sleep!

Abigail gave up naps a few months ago.

It is sad.

It is a bummer.

I have no control over it.

It is, what it is.

But, today she is acting so naughty that I put her in her bed for a mandatory nap. She's been in there for an hour. She is awake. She is yelling from her room. Here's what she has to say:

  • mama, I need you.
  • i need my mama
  • mommy!!!
  • i not good at this!
  • i need the light
  • i want to read
  • i need more music
  • i need you
  • can you hear me?
  • i not good at this
  • i need help
  • i need you
  • mama
  • mama?
  • you there?
  • i promise, i took a little nap
  • i need you
  • i have to pee
  • i thirsty
  • i need you
  • i need a hug
  • i want you to come here
  • i want a kiss
  • i thirsty
  • mama?
  • i not tired
  • i awake
  • mama?
  • i want you to hug me
I mean, seriously!!! Go to sleep!!

As I type this a little three year old girl just walked into my room. Have I mentioned that she's discovered that she can get out of her bed?

nap time over


Buttery Crib Legs

Logan is always on a hunt to see how he can scare his mother. His new trick is shoving both of his legs into the slots in his crib. He gets his legs so wedged in there that it is really hard to get his little limbs freed. On more than one occasion I have felt a moment of panic and was just about to run to the kitchen to grab some butter. My plan? To butter his legs in an effort to slide his poor, stuck, red legs out of the crib. Luckily, I have not had to resort to butter...but, with Logan, I'm sure it's just a matter of time.


Today I stumbled onto....

Not one shoe of peanuts....
not two shoes of peanuts...but three shoes of peanuts.how lovely.


Little girl blooming

My little girl is blooming.

No longer a baby. I am no longer needed in the same ways. My lap is not needed as often. My entertainment is not required as often, she can play on her own now. No longer do I read the books, she reads them to her babies. No longer do I lift her into her car seat, she crawls in herself.

It is bittersweet.

It is a glorious thing to watch your children grow. My purpose is to teach them to require me less. It is a good thing that my Abby can introduce herself now and not hide behind my knee. I want her to thrive. I want her to grow. I want her to learn. I want her to make friends.


Along with these milestones comes the realization that with every passing year my daughter will require less of me. It makes me sad. I love that little girl. I am so proud of the little woman that she is becoming.

She is tenderhearted. She is smart. She is empathetic. She is funny. She loves deeply. She loves makeup and dresses. She loves to talk. She loves to dance and sing songs to me. She loves to love.

It is a holy task to be a mother. I know that my children are not really mine. They belong to someone else. God has given them to me as as gift to my heart and as a holy task. Raising children is not for the faint of heart. I'm only three years in, and already I know that this will be the most significant journey of my life. My children are my heart. They are the best of me. It is not that they are perfect, it is that they are my gift from God.

I am reading a book called Captivating. It is about discovering how God created woman, and a woman's heart. It is so good. It begins with pointing out the importance of a woman's heart. The Bible tells us, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." (Prov. 4:23)

It continues...

" 'Above all else' Why? Because God knows that our heart is core to who we are. It is the source of all our creativity, our courage, and our convictions. It is the fountainhead of our faith, our hope, and of course, our love. ...Your heart as a woman is the most important thing about you."

The book continues by looking at the creation story:
"...whatever it means to bear God's image, you do so as a woman. Female. That's how and where you bear His image. Your feminine heart has been created with the greatest of all possible dignities--as a reflection of God's own heart...."

I think of my Abby as I read this book. She is a little woman in the making. Her heart was created by God. She is a reflection of God's own heart. And it is my (and John's) job to develop her heart. It is our assignment to guard her tender heart. It is my job as the woman in her life to teach her about what it means to be a woman. I am her example. Like I said, being a mother is a holy assignment!
I want her to know how valuable her heart is, to me and to God. I want her to always be confident in her heart, to follow her heart, to give her heart to God, to guard her heart, to give her heart to good friends, to give away her heart to those in need of a friend. Don't even get me started on her heart as it pertains to BOYS! Fear. Fear I say!
I know that I cannot do this alone. But I can pray for my Abby. In fact, it is the most important thing I can do. I can love her and I can pray for my little girl blooming.


Before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom…

I made and ate hot meals.

I had unstained clothing.

I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom…

I slept as late as I wanted.

And never worried about how late I got

into bed.

I brushed my hair and my teeth every day.

Before I was a Mom…

I cleaned my house each day.

I never tripped over toys or forgot words

to lullabies.

Before I was a Mom…

I didn’t worry whether or not my plants

were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was Mom…

I had never been puked on,

Pooped on,

Spat on,

Chewed on,

Peed on,

Or pinched by tiny fingers.

Before I was a Mom…

I had control of my mind,

My thoughts.

My body,

And my time.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom…

I never held down a screaming child,

So that doctors could do tests,

Or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and


I never got gloriously happy over

a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours

at night

Watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom…

I never held a sleeping baby just because.

I didn’t want to put her down.

I never felt my heart break into a million


When I couldn’t stop the hurt.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom…

I didn’t know the feeling of having my

heart outside my body.

I didn’t know how special it could feel to

feed a hungry baby.

I didn’t know that bond between a mother

and her child.

I didn’t know that something so small
Could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom…

I had never risen in the middle of the night .

Every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth,

The joy,

The love,

The heartache,

The wonderment,

Or the satisfaction of being a


I didn’t know I was capable

of feeling so

Much before I was a Mom!

- Author unknown -