I feel sick. again. I am very tired of feeling sick. I feel flu like. It is a real bummer. John has to be at an event tonight, so I'm here with the kids. It is hard to be sick with kids. There is no option to lay down, to relax, to sleep, to heal. They continue doing what they do and I try and keep up.
This has the tenancy to really overwhelm me.
Tonight when John was about to walk out the door, I started crying. I don't even know why. I'm just tired. I miss John. I want to feel better. I want to lay down and do nothing, but I can't. One of those days I guess.
Often, when I'm emotional, overwhelmed, and tired I remember that God is with me. He's right here, on the couch, watching Lion King. When John is gone, God is here. When I am tired, God is not. When I don't want to be mommy, God reminds me that these kids are His, not mine--but that He has blessed me with them. When I want to lay down and give up, God can give me the energy to go forward.
I just have to ask.
I just have to seek Him.
I have to pull my brain from it's depressed state, and focus on God.
He is here.
He is going to give me the energy I need.
He is going to comfort me and my tired soul.
If I ask.
If I let.